Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Conversations

i'm not sure about a lot of things in my life right now. Things seem so up in the air as i struggle to make a living. i want nothing more than happiness for everyone i love but that's not the easiest thing to do. i can't tell if He's happy all the time... is it just His pain that clouds His actions? i was told He's not an emotional person but perhaps i didn't expect Him to be quite like this. oh .. it's not too bad. i don't doubt He loves me ... or my family ... but it's just not easy to read Him. Don't think He got a lot of nurturing love during His formative years ... hell, i know He didn't. That's so sad. No child should ever feel the way He did .... no child should have the childhood that He did. Sure .. eventually there was love .... but by then the groundwork had been laid. It's sad but all i can do is show Him now ... and thats what i try to do daily ... it's just gonna take some time i suppose. Rome wasn't built overnight ....